Google: I hate myself for loving you

Before you flame me and call me a hypocrite, let me disclose a few things. Yes, I use Google's products. I love that I can see my house from space with Google Earth! I've used Adsense and Adwords, and I still use Blogger, Gmail, etc. In all likelihood, I will continue to use Google products. Google is everywhere, and most of the stuff is free -- how can I help it?

But it's getting out of hand. I think about Google all the time -- keywords, backlinks, SEO strategies... What will Google think if I do this? Will Google like that? What if that makes Google mad? I don't want to upset Google!

But I hate that I HAVE to do that! Google's looming Google-icious omnipresence gets on my nerves and under my skin, and I hate myself for having to love Google, especially when Google gives no evidence of loving me in return. Some days it seems like Google loves me, and other days, Google turns all fickle and ignores me for no apparent reason. It's maddening!

Some days, I just want to break up with Google. I want Google to take all his stuff and get out, and leave me alone with my own quiet life. And I can make my place just the way I like it, without having to worry about what Google will think.

But then I'm jerked back to reality. I can't live without Google. Nobody will like me if Google doesn't like me. I'm nothing without Google.

And then I'm back to where I started. I hate myself for loving Google. I hate Google for making me love him. Google, come back! I didn't mean it! Call me!